Stop Explaining to Me How to do my Job

or How to Clean Up Other People’s Mess

You know the type of person I’m talking about. The one who shows up after the fact to explain how you “should have” handled a problem. Sometimes it’s the employee who never said a word about an issue but suddenly has lessons on management to share. Sometimes it’s an “expert” who doesn’t even pay their own invoices on time, but still wants to teach you how to negotiate with clients. Or worse, the person who disappears for three months and comes back with a list of perfect solutions… to a problem you already solved.

Let me make this clear: if the only action you take is to tell me what “not to do™”, but you have no idea what to do, don’t be offended if I totally ignore and discard your inputs.

That’s exactly what we’re going to discuss here: this strange habit people have of running from responsibility but loving to play backseat driver. It’s a problem that, let’s be real, most entrepreneurs, managers, and leaders face daily—whether it’s with their teams, their clients, or both.

The "Dunning-Kruger Effect of Management": We See You

You’ve heard of the Dunning-Kruger effect, right? It’s the idea that incompetent people don’t know enough to realize they’re incompetent. Basically, the less someone knows, the more confident (and loud) they are. Experts, on the other hand, doubt themselves because they understand how complex things really are. It’s a well-studied cognitive bias that tricks you into overlooking the depth of a given topic once you’ve learned the fundamentals. And because I know a bit of the Dunning-Kruger effect, I’m feeling super competent to tell you about it!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect

My experience in management? Seeing this effect play out in real time, every single day. Here’s a concrete example: we got a customer in need of a mobile app where we all have a block of the app to make. Everyone owns a chunk of it, right? The whole thing only ships when all the pieces click together, and the timeline’s totally doable. But here’s the kicker—sometimes someone misses their deadline. Fine, if they actually tell the team. But when they ghost? No heads-up, radio silence, and suddenly the whole project’s derailed because someone couldn’t bother to communicate that they would miss the deadline. So I won’t hesitate to frankly tell them to keep their commitment and that they are failing the team. What’s their reaction? "This isn’t the right way to communicate with me." Seriously? My "management style" is just the consequence of you not doing your job. If you had done your task, I wouldn’t need to call you out. Why do people feel attacked when you simply point out they aren’t doing what they’re supposed to?

And, of course, there’s always that one person who doesn’t take sides but adds, "You could’ve been more gentle..." Oh, thanks for the wisdom. But if everyone had just done their job in the first place, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. I really wish I would never have to be brutally honest with someone, it wastes everybody’s time. I’m not a micromanager and I don’t intend to become one.

The Real Problem Isn’t Honesty; It’s Inaction

You know what destroys a team? It’s not someone being too direct. It’s inaction. This habit of sweeping problems under the rug to avoid conflict. That rug? It becomes a breeding ground for bad habits, toxic behavior, and eventually, the exodus of your most talented people.

Because let’s be honest: competent people don’t have a problem facing problems. They see an issue, and they deal with it. That’s why they succeed. But when an organization tolerates (or worse, excuses) inaction, it turns into a safe haven for mediocrity. Those who shine at avoiding responsibility, hiding behind excuses, or saying, “I don’t think that’s my role.” And trust me, we see those people.

The irony? When the problem finally explodes, those same people are the first to criticize how you handled it.

Sometimes You Have to be pushy (and That’s OK)

I always start by communicating calmly, directly, without raising my voice. That’s my default approach. But sometimes, when you’re dealing with chronic inaction or people who just won’t listen, a bit of pressure is the only way to get things moving.

It’s not just me saying this—it’s science. When faced with urgency or stress, our brain kicks into survival mode. It unlocks hidden resources and starts looking for solutions. Routine, on the other hand, makes people lazy. They underestimate their workload or overestimate it until the last minute panic kicks in. That’s why a little adrenaline can actually help.

Let’s be clear: I’m not saying you should be a tyrant, sustaining high levels of stress on anyone WILL lead to exhaustion. But there’s a difference between being a bully and refusing to excuse behaviors that drag the team down. Sometimes the Bear just needs to show its teeth.

This article explains very well that fight-or-flight response to threats.

https://blog.hptbydts.com/fight-or-flight-at-work-your-stress-response

Real-Life Examples: Why I Don’t Listen to People Who Avoid Action

Here’s a story. I worked with a client who always paid my invoices on time. Until one day, without warning, they decided they’d start paying me in 45 days. When I followed up, their secretary casually mentioned it like it was no big deal. Alright. So I went to the people I originally negotiated with and said, “If you don’t pay me within the agreed terms, I’ll stop working for you.”

You can guess what happened next: "Oh, you were too firm. You should have called so-and-so or approached it differently." Seriously? These same people, who saw the situation falling apart from the start, said nothing. But now they all have an opinion on how I should’ve handled it. No thanks. If you were there and didn’t do anything to help, keep your advice to yourself.

Final Lesson: Act or Shut Up

The problem today is that too many people confuse kindness with complacency. Being kind doesn’t mean tolerating everything. It doesn’t mean avoiding every conflict. Kindness is about having the courage to face problems, even when it’s uncomfortable, because that’s what’s best for the team in the long run.

And if you don’t want to face problems? At least do this: leave the people who are actually working alone. Because we don’t need your hindsight advice. A team (or a business) moves forward because of action, not pointless criticism.

So to all the people who sit back and watch the train crash, only to comment on how fast it was going afterward: you’re the real anchors here.

Thanks, but no thanks.